Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
