i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm at about main and main street
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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