You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
