I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
