I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
