Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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