i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
