super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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