you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
