He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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