we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize