Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
