Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
