I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
