Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Me. At least after what I've been through.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
