Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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