i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
