No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
