the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
