dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
