You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
