were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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