Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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