I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
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I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize