matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
