Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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