My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
