My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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