id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
