Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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