I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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