awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
