Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
