I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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