i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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