just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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