absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize