There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He passed out mid-signature
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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