I just gift wrapped bread.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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