so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
