and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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