We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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