So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
