Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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