After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
