why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
