My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So many bounce houses so little time
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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