she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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