My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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