Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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