you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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