i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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