I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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