I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
