I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
