It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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