he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
