I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
